Usually once I get an idea for a blog post I spend a couple days thinking it over, grabbing inspiration, dreaming the perfect words or phrases to tie it all together. Then, I sit down and write it all out.
Today, I unexpectedly went through a totally different process. I actually had no idea I was going to write this post until a few minutes ago. I woke up today forgetting it was Father’s Day, or maybe avoiding is the better word here.
Then, I started scrolling through Instagram and felt my heart drop into my stomach further and further after each post I saw of a father and his daughter with a sweet and meaningful caption attached.
I want to stop here and share that if you were one of these people that posted one of these pictures, please know this is not an attack on you, it is much more about the attack on myself. Instagram is such a fun way to express celebration of love and life found in places, things and people. So yes, of course you should post a sweet picture of you and your dad, especially on Father’s Day!! But, Instagram also has a way of amplifying the “they have this and I don’t” feeling, even though it wasn’t the intention of the person who posted the picture.
This post is for the rest of us that hopefully received “thinking of you” and “praying for you today” texts today because not having a father or not knowing your father or whatever messy version of a broken relationship you have with your father, just sucks.
I wish there was a better way to phrase that but, there isn’t any other way to describe the everyday feeling I get when my craving for affirmation, love and approval that only a father can provide leaves me empty handed. The problem is, when there is a hole in your heart that your father is and was supposed to fill, it is natural to fill it with other things. I know I am not alone when I say I attempt to fill this hole by saying I am not worthy of this kind of love anyways, by not being good enough or unlovable.
If you use lies as a filler for a hole in your heart too, I know you know that this leads to corrosion of heart. Which doesn’t sound healthy or good for anyone involved.
Instead, lets go back to the basics because I know that God didn’t provide me without a healthy relationship with my dad because I am unlovable or unworthy. What I do know is that God was and always will be our number one father who cries and aches with us. I know that God loves me unconditionally. I know that God will never let me down and will always keep me safe. I know that my God will provide for me and give me good gifts.
I also know that when he created family dynamics he crafted and modeled them after of his own design. God gave us fathers because he wanted us, his children, to see and to experience a father’s love in the flesh. But, I also know that God loved us so much he gives us free will and because we live in a fallen world, our “fathers” don’t always represent this kind of fatherly love God intended.
So, sisters, can we all stand together in this truth and instead wishing this day away with the heartbreak that comes along with it, can we stop and celebrate our good, good, heavenly father? Let’s bring a whole new meaning to Father’s Day because after all, He makes the broken beautiful.